


Moon and Sun

by intergalactix



Series: Sawen Lavellan: An Anthology [3]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 18:45:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6670438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intergalactix/pseuds/intergalactix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of ficlets featuring Merrill and Sawen Lavellan.</p><p>"Then I can be your moon, to guide and shine for you in your darkest hour and you can be my sun, to light up every day just by rising and being present."<br/>— Jessica Rita Agozzino</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Silence

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to start compiling my Merrill/Lavellan drabbles into a collection here on AO3! Hope you enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by my friend calyah on Tumblr with the following prompt: “Please, just- stay. Please.”

When the last of the books is tucked neatly away in proper storage, Merrill stands and looks around her and Sawen’s bedroom. She frowns at its emptiness, hardly able to recognize the space as theirs. Shelves once lined with countless knickknacks and collectibles are now starkly vacant; empty spaces surrounded by a fine layer of dust serve as the only evidence of their former existence. Numerous stacks of wooden crates are scattered around the room, filled with all of the belongings they have accumulated during their time with the Inquisition.

Now, that time has come to an end.

Merrill knows that Sawen didn’t want to disband the Inquisition – she _wouldn’t_ have, had she not been backed into a corner – but neither could she deny her desire to return to her clan. Though she is equally reluctant to leave Skyhold, Merrill feels the pull to the Free Marches, too, excited for the chance to once again have a home among the Dalish. Come morning they would depart for Wycome and start anew.

Her gaze shifts over to Sawen. She sits at the edge of their bed with her back turned toward her, uncharacteristically quiet, hunched over as she stares out the windows. Merrill watches her sadly. At times, she worries that a vital part of Sawen never quite made it out the other side of the _eluvian_ , unable to face a world that feels so intrinsically different from the one they knew before. It has been this way since their return from the Winter Palace. She keeps to herself whenever possible, out of touch with a faraway look in her dark eyes. _Silent_.

Merrill tries to fill the silence as best as she can.

She takes in a deep, resolute breath, straightening her posture. “I’ve finished packing all our books.”

Sawen looks over her shoulder, tired eyes following Merrill’s movements as she makes her way to the bed, though never meeting her gaze. Merrill stops when she’s standing just in front of her, their knees just barely touching.

“Though I’m quite certain Dorian made off with our copy of _In Pursuit of Knowledge_ ,” she continues, her voice as cheerful as she can make it. “Can’t find it anywhere, I’m afraid. I know it’s not nice of me to be placing blame but… Well, you know how he is.”

Merrill sees a faint yet forced smile tug at Sawen’s lips. She wants to be happy, that much is clear, but she’s still too distracted, too far removed from herself.

“Have you eaten supper yet today?” she asks, changing the subject.

Mutely, Sawen shakes her head.

Merrill opens her mouth to suggest they eat together, but she stops when Sawen turns her attention to her left arm, her remaining hand coming up to brush along the fabric folded over the end of the limb.

“Oh,” Merrill says, “does your arm hurt today?”

Again, Sawen shakes her head. Merrill frowns at the obvious lie and her throat tightens with worry. How much longer would they have to do this? How much longer could Sawen hold her head above the water before she starts to drown?

“ _Ma vhenan_ ,” she implores softly. She waits patiently for a reply, counting the seconds in her head as they pass, but Sawen says nothing.

Silence has never been quite so deafening.

Unsure of what else to do, Merrill sighs and moves to walk away. As much as she wishes Sawen would confide in her, she knows she can’t force her to. If what she truly needs is space, Merrill would grant it to her. She would give her anything without question, if only it meant that Sawen could feel better.

She doesn’t make it very far.

“Merrill?”

Merrill stops abruptly, turning back around, and Sawen finally looks at her, really looks at her, holding her gaze with glossy eyes. She swallows thickly, determined not to look away despite her vulnerability.

“I’m sorry,” she continues with a shuddering breath. “Please, just – stay. Please.”

Her voice is small, weak, but it’s the first Merrill’s heard it in days. She doesn’t hesitate, sitting down on the mattress and opening her arms. Sawen immediately burrows into her embrace, hiding her face against her neck. Merrill draws her closer, nearly pulling her into her lap.

“I’m sorry,” Sawen repeats, whispering.

Merrill nods. “I know.”

“I just – I don’t know how to – ”

“Hush,” Merrill says gently. She feels the wetness of Sawen’s tears against her skin and holds her tighter. “It’s all right. It’s all right.”

Embarrassed, Sawen lets out a watery laugh, but she makes no move to pull away. Merrill smiles, her own eyes welling up at the sound of the first genuine laugh she’s heard from Sawen in weeks. Relief washes over her like warm rain, cleansing her of her doubt, and she knows that no matter what challenges they would face, they _could_ endure – together.


	2. The Herald's Rest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by my friend eveningshadowrising over on Tumblr with this prompt: "This wasn’t meant to be a date, but we’ve had such a good time and now it’s 2 a.m. and I should really go home…"

The Herald’s Rest is bustling with life as it is most Friday nights. With her eyes closed, Merrill smiles to herself as she takes it all in: the sounds of lively conversation, a crackling fire in the hearth, and Maryden’s whispery voice floating throughout the space as another minstrel accompanies her with a flute. She loves that she can hear everything even from the corner of the room, surrounded by all her friends as they chatter excitedly—and, in some of their cases, drunkenly—about their adventures.  

Beside her, Sawen hums idly to herself, going along to the tune Maryden is singing. Merrill sighs and adjusts her position against Sawen’s shoulder, a sturdy comfort beneath her cheek. Sawen stops humming then, and the arm she has draped loosely around Merrill’s neck shifts slightly.

“Still sleeping?”

She speaks lowly, her mouth by Merill’s ear, so that only the two of them can hear. A chill races down Merrill’s spine at her close proximity, and she shakes her head.

“Just resting my eyes.”

Sawen snorts. “Uh huh.”

“I am!” Merrill retorts. “Honest.”

“It’s the wine, isn’t it?”

Merrill smiles and nods. Her cheeks still feel flushed from the single glass she had earlier.

“It always is,” she says, and then yawns. She turns her head and covers her mouth, earning a laugh from Sawen.

“We must work on your lying skills,” she says. “They’re dreadful.”

“I know,” Merrill admits. “But I’ve just been enjoying listening to everyone. It’s soothing.”

“Have you? Because everyone left about an hour ago.”

“What?”  

Merrill’s eyes fly open, and she is shocked to see that their table is completely empty, their friends no longer crowding around its perimeter. She then looks around the rest of the tavern, finding it to be much emptier than she thought. Only a few other patrons remain on the first floor, nursing their drinks in silence.  

Silence… Merrill blinks in confusion, and that’s when it occurs to her that she no longer hears Maryden singing, or the silvery sound of flute music, or anything at all.

“Oh dear,” she says. “I really did doze off, didn’t I?”

Sawen laughs again, moving her arm and squeezing Merrill’s shoulders affectionately.  

Merrill turns and looks at her. She’s smiling fondly at her, and there’s a half-filled bottle of spiced wine cradled between her legs, the one that they were sharing earlier. Merrill feels her cheeks grow hotter, realizing that she more or less trapped Sawen in the tavern by falling asleep on her.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I shouldn’t have—Creators, the time! I kept you for so long.“

“It’s fine. You looked comfortable, so I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“But you probably wanted to leave,” Merrill continues. “You could have woken me sooner, I wouldn’t have minded.”

“I wanted to stay, though,” Sawen says.

Merrill frowns. “You’re just saying that so I don’t feel bad.”

“I am not!” Sawen grins and shakes her head disapprovingly. “Don’t be silly, Merrill.”

She leans forward and kisses Merrill gently, reassuringly, her lips tasting of orange peel and clove. She draws her further into her embrace and Merrill sighs softly, relaxing under her touch as she returns the kiss.

“You look so cute when you’re asleep, you know,” Sawen whispers against her mouth.  

Merrill giggles at the ticklish sensation. “Stop trying to make me blush. I’m already as red as spindleweed.”

Sawen merely kisses her again, briefly, before nudging Merrill’s nose playfully with her own.

“Come on,” Sawen says. “You still look quite tired. Let’s go get some real sleep.”

“Together?” Merrill asks unsurely, hoping she isn’t reading too much into the question.

“Is that all right with you?” Sawen asks.

Merrill nods enthusiastically. The idea of curling up and falling asleep next to Sawen properly sends her heart racing, but in the best kind of way, and she can’t help but smile at the image her mind conjures for her.

Sawen stands up from her chair, placing their bottle of unfinished wine on top of the table. She holds out her hand for Merrill to take and helps her up, lacing their fingers together as they start for the exit.  

And as they make their way through Skyhold, Merrill leans her head back on Sawen’s shoulder and closes her eyes, feeling warm and comfortable once more.


End file.
